Tri-Con Day 2

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Sorry this took so long – life got in the way. It has a pesky way of doing that, no?

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Day two of Tri Con and all is well. I have had the chance to talk with some amazing people during the past 24 hours. There are some great personalities attending this con. There are also some gorgeous cosplayers wandering the event. Yesterday I recognized Sam and Castiel from Supernatural, Irene Adler from Sherlock Belle, Tinkerbell and a plethora of other Disney princesses,  Judge Dredd and Peter Pan. Today has seen Captain America, Harley Quinn, Deadpool, and the 11th Doctor. Again, these are only the ones I recognized.

That aside, I got to mingle with the crowds, talk to my fellow geeks and do some serious networking! I actually got to chat with a few cohorts about social media and will be following up with a few in the near future.

I am loving going to these events and will continue as often as I can.

Tri Con KW – Day one

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So, for those that do not know me, I am a nerd and a huge one at that. When given the opportunity, I enjoy communing with my fellow nerds and sharing our nerdy loves with one another.

Day one was absolutely brilliant. for those that like to people watch, going to a convention is an unparalleled experience. People of different backgrounds come together for a common cause. People blend fantasy and reality through conversation, cosplay and games. People enjoy themselves with little to no reservations.

On a personal note, I love the experience. This is only my second intentional -con experience (Hubby and I accidentally stumbled on a steampunk convention in the summer) and I would never imagine NOT going to these conventions. It is an immense amount of fun and you get to meet people with the same interests as yourself (in person) that you never would have otherwise.

Speaking of the people, the creativity of these individuals is absolutely brilliant. The vendors at this show are largely creating handmade, original items that entertain the mind,eye and heart. All of the unique works there are absolutely beautiful, but I am going to highlight a few of the vendors I purchased from:

High Comedic Value – The comic I purchased from Husein was funny, cute and thoughtful. While it is not his day job, you can tell he loves his craft and lets his fun, layered humour shine through.

Cheshire Grynne – So much adorable. My husband bought a (Zelda) Master Key keychain that absolutely won both of our hearts. The 8-bit style of the pressed bead art is both cute and smart. The artist, Amy Williams (not THAT Amy Williams), was fun and energetic. The highlight for me was her pressed button Misha Collins portrait. it was beautifully done – my only complaint is that not enough people will see the piece. It is art.

Hunter Geek – Who wouldn’t love a hand-stitched TARDIS pin for their bag? I knew I wanted one and when I asked very nicely, Allanah whipped up a red-lined one for me no problem. Her speed was impressive as was her span of the fandoms. While we were circulating at the con, she whipped up an Animal Crossing commission that had everyone around going “Awww!” Her David Tennant stitch was a thing of absolute beauty. There was so much there, I honestly can’t mention everything.

Ringcrafts – A perennial favourite of mine, the husband/wife duo that runs this business are not only wildly talented but wonderful people. This is the second time I have bought off of them. My husband owns a chainmaille tie from them (continuous compliments/inquiries) while I own a variety of jewellery. Today saw the purchase of some earrings and a penguin pendant. They are all handmade and the owners will custom size anything you like. There is one thing I outwardly covet of theirs – the 12-foot chainmaille replica of the fourth doctor’s scarf. It is a little out of my price range, but oh my goodness is it gorgeous.

That was day one  I will be writing more later.. but now I must be off to begin day two!

AI

… and that is why I write.

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If it hasn’t become abundantly clear to those that view my blog with any regularity, I fancy myself to be a writer. In all seriousness, I make part of my living with words. My only complaint is that I cannot yet sustain myself on these earnings.

Recently, I wrote a piece called “I don’t want kids.” The post was, to oversimplify, about how monumentally frustrating it is to have people try and tell you how to live. I have made a sound decision and it is not one that I should have to justify.

The response to this post was surprising. I received feedback from like-minded individuals with their stories and frustrations. I received private notes about sticking to my guns. I had one person tell me it made her think about her conduct in the past. The post made people reflect, emote and share.

I couldn’t ask for more.

It’s moments like those that remind me why I love writing.

AI

I don’t want kids

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I don't see these as a part of my life.

I don’t see these as a part of my life.

As a woman in my late 20s I have noticed a trend among my friends; all of them seem to be getting married, having children or both. To them I send my deepest, heartfelt congratulations.

I also remind them, when it inevitably comes up, that I do not plan on having my own children.

Don’t get me wrong, I adore kids. These little people are just beginning their journey into the world and I can’t help but be completely besotted with the constant wonder and fascination they express. I have many small children in my life and I love every last one of them.

BUT …

when someone puts a baby in my hands then asks me when I plan on having my own, I get uncomfortable.

I cannot remember a time when I actively wanted my own children. There are times when I was less adverse to the idea, definitely, but as a whole, child rearing has never been a part of my life plan. I have a lot of ambitions in my life as does my husband. In all honestly, some of those ambitions are fairly selfish. We both want to be successful at our chosen careers (his: music, mine:writing) and after talking about our wants at length decided that children were most likely not on our radar. This was and is not a fly-by-night decision – It is a deeply personal decision that was made by two adults planning their futures.

So when you tell me I will change my mind, I find it very insulting.

Honestly, it is one of the worst things you can say to a person who isn’t planning on having children. There are a multitude of reasons why someone may not see kids in their future and really, it is no one’s business.

Don’t tell me I would be a fantastic parent – Yes, I am good with children. As I said before, I love kids. I spent my entire youth babysitting for family friends as well as my three younger cousins. I changed diapers, helped potty train, dealt with runny noses and was kept up during the night with sore tummies. I struggled through homework, I got them off to school in the morning. I cooked, cleaned and tucked them in. I did this part time and that was more than enough for me. I truly believe that yes, if placed in the situation, I would be a brilliant parent. The fact is, though, I don’t want to be a parent.

Don’t tell me I am missing out. First off, I don’t feel that I am. I don’t have to find a sitter if I want to go out for a drink on Friday night. I don’t have to worry about extra mouths to feed. I don’t have to worry about being woken at 3 a.m. over monsters under the bed. I can buy pretty ornaments and leave them out without worrying about them being broken by curious hands. I don’t have to baby-proof my house. Leaving the house isn’t a logistical nightmare of toys, nappies and bottles. I don’t feel I am missing out because these are not my priorities. If they are yours, that’s wonderful. I will help you pack the diaper bag, but it does not have a place in my day-to-day life.

Don’t tell me I will change my mind. I know my mind and I know my own goals in life. I honestly don’t see myself suddenly wanting to have kids after 29 years of not, but if I do change my mind, it is the business of myself and my husband, no one else.

don’t tell me I don’t understand. I know I don’t understand. I am fine with that. The fact is that I don’t want to understand.

Every child needs a slightly eccentric, cool aunt and I am more than happy to fit that bill. I look forward to the day that my brother has kids with his partner (if they so choose). I will love that child to bits. I adore spending time with my friends’ children and playing make-believe. I spin stories out of thin air that leave them in giggles. I write them tales where they get to be the main characters. I will be friend, confidante and family, whether biological or not. I will go home to my cats and visit again soon.

Let me be this person. I don’t tell you why you shouldn’t have kids, so please don’t tell me why I should.

AI

A Dalhousie story – Don’t write something you wouldn’t want your grandmother to read

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Like many newsies and feminists alike,  I have been following the story surrounding the Dentistry school at Dalhousie University in Halifax. Amidst a time of Canadian sex scandals and rape culture awareness these men chose to be sexist, misogynistic and downright rude regarding their female colleagues. From a personal standpoint, I find  their choices to be awful and am glad to see that these men have been suspended. Their wild lack of professionalism should earn them nothing less.

That being said, this post is not about the punishments awarded to these men.

I plan to discuss the fact that this group of people chose to use social media as a place to share these thoughts.

When I was a teenager, I was told, quite emphatically, never to put into writing something you wouldn’t want your grandmother to read. I cannot remember who gave me this piece of advice, but I owe them a lot of thanks. As social media has expanded it is much easier for unwanted text comments to gain public scrutiny. As I have both of my grandmothers as Facebook friends, my mother following my Facebook, Twitter as well as all the other social media accounts I manage and many other family members able to access everything I say and do online, I tend to choose my words wisely. I try not to swear too much, substituting “effing” for more crass wording and generally keeping my profile clean of overwhelming smut.

These men ignored this protocol so spectacularly it makes my head spin. What these men did can be loosely classified as “hate speech” as defined by Random House Dictionary (speech that attacks, threatens, or insults a person or group on the basis of national origin, ethnicity, color, religion, gender, gender identity, sexual orientation, or disability). moreover, now they have left written proof. As we all know, Facebook owns everything we put on their site and almost nothing is ever truly deleted. These awful statements made about their once and future colleagues can and will come back to haunt them.

I have always loved the old tattoo adage, think before you ink. the same principle applies to writing. We have all made off-colour jokes in our time – most of us are smart enough not to put it in writing.

AI